The role of a Father plays a very important role in a young girl’s life and her development into womanhood.

1. He will treat her mother with respect

It’s very important that a father treats the mother of his daughter with respect and kindness. Regardless of the relationship status between the mother and father, respect is necessary for a healthy child. The emotional and mental health of the child depends on it. Children absorb and repeat things they observe all the time, so it’s best not to argue, or do anything negative in front of your daughter. As a dad, you set the standard for how your daughter will possibly interact with others.

2. He will give good hugs

A hug can be powerful. Providing your daughter with hugs may result in her feeling loved, secure, comforted, confident and happy. She will know she is loved by her father. Reward her with a smile, a hug and tell her something positive like “great job” for good behavior. I feel that a hug a day also keeps the doctor away. Never turn down a hug from your daughter.

3. He will spend quality time with his daughter

It’s important for a dad to spend quality time with his daughter. Quality time doesn’t have to be all day to make a positive impact on your daughter. Take her different places or plan different activities over the course of a year. Allow her to be part of the planning process, ask her what she would like to do and offer suggestions. A thirty-minute walk in the park or dance off is a fun and healthy activity that will not require money. Make sure if you have other kids, she will have at least one time a week with you without the other siblings. Each child needs their own separate alone time with their parents.

4. He will show his support

Show your support to daughter and her endeavors. Notice I used the word show–yes she needs to physically see and feel your support not just hear you say you support her. Okay! I totally get it, you may not be able to attend all her games or events all the time. However, if you do miss her event you can make it up by bringing her a card, flower or whatever she likes.Then take some time to sit and speak with her about the event and be interested.

5. He will share

It’s okay to share with your daughter some of your hobbies. If you like to go fishing, take your daughter. Don’t allow gender biases to dictate the activities you share with your daughter. She could learn how to be patient, other valuable skills and lessons over time, during the activity.

6. He will say I love you

Your daughter needs to hear I love you. When she is having a bad day, she will find comfort in you and those words from you. It can calm her to know that she is in a safe, secure and loved place.

7. He will allow her to earn

A great dad will allow her to earn what she wants. Giving her money will not show her the value or appreciation of money when she is younger. It’s important that he allows her to earn an allowance by working for it. Depending on her age she could wash the car, fold the clothes, water the plants or hand you the tools while you work on the car.

8. He will allow her mind to be opened

A great dad will allow his daughters mind to be opened to new experiences, adventures, and cultures. Taking her to different museums and allowing her to participate in different activities. This will allow her to develop into a smart and kind young woman with the ability to make up her own mind through her experiences.

Every day is a gift it allows us to start over and do better than we did yesterday. What better day than today to start making improvements. It’s important to acknowledge and take accountability for our mistakes or things we did not know about. When done genuinely, it allows  the wounds to heal and a new beginning to start.

Take the time to read to your daughter, tell her she is beautiful and smart. Ask her about her favorite color, favorite subject in school and more.

Recently, a mechanical fitter, Ross Batten, made headlines when he came clean about his struggle with a mental disorder called bigorexia. Earlier, in September, a documentary on fitness trainer Pradeep Bala revealed details about his struggle with the same disorder.

In an effort to keep up with society’s rising standard of good looks, men are increasingly falling prey to this particular disorder, in which one is never ‘big enough’ or ‘buff enough’.

“Bigorexia is the other end of anorexia. In the latter, you feel you are too fat or too big; in bigorexia, you feel that you are not big muscular enough. The person who suffers from it, almost always a man, feels that he needs to put on more muscle, even though he may be in the range that I’d consider ‘normal’,” says Dr Kersi Chavda, consultant in psychiatric medicine, Hinduja Healthcare Surgical, Khar (W).

How it affects

“In bigorexia, there is a tendency to eat too much of the ‘right food’ (protein) which can damage the kidney. Excessive exercising can also lead to overstrained muscles and tendons, which may lead to injuries or fractures,” says Dr Chavda. The personal life of bigorexics also suffers as they compromise on spending time with family and friends and spend most of their time in the gym instead. During work hours, they are highly anxious, anticipating the time they would reach the gym and start working out.

Treatment mode

Bigorexics need to be dealt with tactfully. Talking it out and making those affected understand the condition, is important. If they are still adamant, reassure them. It is important to deal with them patiently as they may be easily irritable. Make them aware of the pros and cons of excessive exercising through their trainers at the gym. In such cases, most people trust their gym trainers.

In extreme situations, the patient might need hospitalisation, especially if there are physical issues. Counselling, treatment of primary issues related to body-image problems, and the occasional use of anti-obsessive medication might help in such cases.

— With inputs from Dr Prakash M Doshi, chief of orthopaedics and traumatology, Nanavati Super Speciality Hospital, Vile Parle (W) and Dr Rohann Bokdawala, MD psychiatry, Shriya Polyclinic, Marine Lines

Trainer Talk

Shruti Kadam, fitness expert, Gold’s Gym India, says, “There is no thumb rule to know if a person has reached his or her own limit. As we get fitter, we need to work harder to maintain the same level of fitness. Ideally, a person shouldn’t cross the limit of 22-25 sets per workout, which can be completed in 45-50 minutes. Exceeding this amount of weight-training time is considered to be overtraining. This must be avoided as it leads to ‘atrophy’, a condition in which you drop your lean muscle mass insteadof gaining lean tissue, something we look for when it comes to strength