Sometimes I actually feel human nature naturally goes against this. We all know that two wrongs don’t make a right, but somehow, whenever we are wronged, our first instinct is revenge, payback. Nigerians have this saying “do me, I do you, God no go vex”…which is an extremely wrong approach to life. The bad behavior of another person definitely does not excuse your own bad behavior.

You should understand that if your loved one or significant other does something to hurt you, doing something to hurt them in return only makes things worse. You may look at it as giving them a taste of their own medicine or trying to teach them a lesson, but in truth, you will only end up digging a hole which you both won’t be able to come out from.

In our haste to act out our vengeful judgement to a partner who is a cheat or an unrepentant drunk or a tireless womanizer or a lazy procrastinating distrustful person; we intend to unknowingly adopt these traits we detest, giving into the ‘evil’ we hate. Note the use of the word evil, because we become the ‘monsters’ we were not, losing ourselves to anger and hate. We lose all forms of trust and become overly jealous, selfish, obsessed and cautious.

We lose our sense of dignity because the aftermath of our vengeance is not the feeling of happiness or satisfaction but an empty hollow depth in our consciousness that we keep digging ‎whenever we give into these feelings of hate.

Your desire for the success of your relationship should always be more than your desire for a “sweet revenge” unless you are no longer interested in the relationship. It takes serious grace to not give in to your natural vengeful instinct.

In my opinion, revenge is not the best course of action to take, because I have come to discover that when love is applied, we tend to be better humans. By love I do not refer to blind lust or the desire to put up with the unrepentant partner, but I refer to the love for your person, your dignity and your values. The love that enables you to be the bigger person and the mature one. The love that strengthens you with the resolve to make moral and right decisions…the love that enables you AVOID TWO WRONGS.